Hetalia for the masses
by ClearAsCrystal269
Summary: New to Hetalia fandom? wiki pages are down? Fangirls not making any sense? then you ve come to the right place! here i will break down the very basics of Hetalia and the main characters. Originally an essay that i wanted to publish! please enjoy, and tell me what you think!


Hetalia: for the common masses

By ClearAsCrystal269

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New to the fandom? The wiki pages are down? Fangirls aren`t making any sense what so ever? Well, I`m here to help, with my guide to Hetalia 101 for beginners. In this guide we will explore what Hetalia is, how it came about, the main characters and how the show fits in with the world today! Now that we have that covered, let`s get started!

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1\. WTF is a Hetalia?

Hetalia started out as Japanese webcom by Hidekazu Himaruya (**Webcom**\- a manga only available through the internet over a blog and/or art site, such as tumblr or deviantART) that took the Japanese public by storm. English versions were translated and supplied onto English blogs and sites for fans in the west to read, and it soon got enough publicity to be turned into a manga and got its own anime (**manga**\- a Japanese novel comprised of drawings and speech, as well as characters inner thoughts. Think backward comic book. (**anime**\- when a manga gets an anime, it means that the manga gets turned into a TV show that can either follow the course of the manga, or go in different route entirely, just with the same characters of the manga.)) . Each episode is about six minutes long and gives different sketches about world history and offensive jokes.

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2\. Okay, now why do the people call each other countries?

That's simple; they are countries! Each character in Hetalia represents a country through stereotypical and factual assumptions of the people, politics and military. Let`s take Germany for example: he is blonde with blue eyes, shy, stern and OCD about cleaning. He loves his dogs and is an in the closet baker with a passion for desserts. See? If not, why don`t we go for someone else. England perhaps: England is blonde, green eyed, foul mouthed, hot tempered former pirate. His used to torment Spain, but gave it up when he took on America to become a proper role model for the new world. He loves tea, can`t cook for **** and can see and interact with magical creatures, his favourite being Flying Mint Bunny. So far the Hetalia cast spans most of Europe, Asia and Northern America, as well as a few African countries here and there.

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3\. What countries are involved in this then?

There are currently over twenty odd nations personified in this show, so, to give you an idea of what to expect, here are the main eight countries and a few others who tie in directly to them.

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**Name; **Italy (Veneciano)

**Age (appearance); **twenty

**Hair;** brown

**Eyes;** hazel

**Height; **172cm

**Human name;** Feliciano Vargas

Italy is a pasta and pizza loving wimp, enjoying nothing more than taking siestas and eating. He is often depicted with a white flag hiding behind Germany to represent his cowardice during WWII and, frankly, the rest of his existence. He has a gravity defying hair curl on the right side of his head which acts as his erogenous-zone. He is best friends, and often hinted as more, with Germany.

**Name; **Germany

**Age (appearance); **twenty

**Hair;** blonde

**Eyes;** blue

**Height;** 180cm

**Human name; **Ludwig Beilschmidt

Germany is a stern, straight laced training manic with OCD for cleaning and keeping fit. He keeps his bangs gelled back and is best friends with Italy, though it is often hinted that they are more than friends. He loves baking and playing with his dogs. He is strict, and almost always ends up having to pull Italy back to training kicking and screaming. His erogenous-zone is not known, but it is thought that it has something to do with his hair or scalp, due to him not letting anyone touch his hair.

**Name;** Japan

**Age (appearance);** twenty-two

**Hair; **black

**Eyes; **brown

**Height; **165cm

**Human name; **Kiku Honda (Honda Kiku in the Japanese order)

Japan is painfully polite, quiet and makes up the last of the axis powers. He enjoys sensing the mood and refraining from speaking. He is an otaku (**otaku** –large fan of anime/manga/fanart etc.) and draws erotica in his spare time. He is the fastest growing nation in the whole of the world, growing even faster than America. He used to be looked after by China, but something came between them, causing Japan to literally stab China in the back and leave him to die. Most people don`t believe him when he tells them he is thousands of years old due to how long he has been an open country. He often suffers from pains in his back from his long existence.

**Name;** America

**Age (appearance);** nineteen

**Hair; **blonde

**Eyes;** blue

**Height;** 177cm

**Human name;** Alfred F. Jones

America is load, obnoxious and can`t keep his nose out of other people`s business. He was found by Finland and given to England, who looked after him until he declared independence. Due to England`s inability to cook, it has left America with bland taste buds that only like fast food and junk. He works out like crazy to keep himself thin and toned, and has an obsession with hero`s and becoming a hero. He is constantly taking the limelight and taking charge of situations, even though he`s the youngest of the allies. The shipping (**shipping**\- supporting of two people to be together romantically) of him with England, USXUK, is the most shipped pairing in the whole Hetalia fandom, with over half of all fans supporting them. That surpasses the pairings LietPol, RoChu, SpaMano and even GerIta! Wow, that is one mean feat, America!

**Name;** England (Britain in the anime)

**Age (appearance); **twenty three

**Hair; **dirty blonde

**Eyes; **green

**Height; **175cm

**Human name; **Arthur Kirkland

England is a foul mouthed former pirate with a burning hatred for France and all food that isn`t English. He used to torment Spain and collect colonies for a hobby, until he got America. He straightened out and became a gentleman to set the right example for his young colony. When America declared independence England couldn`t bring himself to force America to stay, thus letting him go. Every year around the fourth of July he gets very depressed and sad, and refuses to see America. England is known as the black sheep of Europe for his pirating and collection of colonies, but has since stopped collecting already having at least three more colonies under English rule, including Australia, New Zealand and India.

**Name; **France

**Age (appearance); **twenty six

**Hair; **blonde

**Eyes; **blue

**Height; **175cm

**Human name; **Francis Bonnefoy

France is flamboyant, perverted and not afraid to show it. He is pansexual and will sleep pretty much anything that moves. Back in the middle-ages he and England were somewhat good friends, but started fighting as the two got older. France now has a burning hatred toward England. He loves drinking wine, farming and protesting. After the death of Napoleon, his only good leader, France has waited until the very end of wars to swoop in and steal some of the glory and spoils of war. He also raised Canada, and gave him his language.

**Name; **Russia

**Age (appearance); **twenty two

**Hair; **light blonde

**Eyes;** violet

**Height; **182cm

**Human name; **Ivan Braginsky

Russia is cruel, with child-like sadistic traits and a dark aura that follows him around, even if he is not aware of it himself. After years of war and blood shed, Russia has cracked mentally, yet is not aware of it himself. All he wants is a friend, yet every time he tries to make friends with anyone, they get scared and run away screaming. He has three 'friends' in the Baltics, of which he mistreated so badly it left Lithuania with permanent scars criss-crossing his back. His only true friend would be China, of whom he shares an alliance as well as many cannon moments (**Cannon**\- events that actually occurred during the series) including the famous chibi plane jump (**chibi**\- super deformed versions of the characters. Chibi`s are also used to represent child characters such as chibitalia as baby Italy). He has two sisters, an older sister, Ukraine, and a little sister, of who he is absolutely terrified of, Belarus.

**Name; **China

**Age (appearance); **twenty two

**Hair;** dark brown

**Eyes; **brown

**Height;** 169cm

**Human name; **Yao Wang

China is America`s back up man during WWII and close friends with Russia, as well as being the mother figure to almost all of Asian countries. He was the first to discover a lot of today`s modern Asian countries, including Japan, South Korea, Taiwan, Thailand and Hong Kong. He was also sort of a mentor to Russia, helping him and becoming part of the USSR when asked. China loves to cook and fights with a wok and ladle. Across his back is a scar from when Japan literally stabbed him in the back. China is one of the only remaining ancients left, being over four thousand years old and holding around a quarter of the world population. He is thought to miss some his friends from the ancient times.

**Name; **Italy (Romano)

**Age (appearance); **twenty

**Hair;** redish brown

**Eyes;** hazel

**Height;** 172cm

**Human name;** Lovino Vargas

Romano is a foul mouthed, hot headed tsundere character and Spain`s former colony (**tsundere**\- when a character is mean and standoffish to people they actually like to cover it up). He often spends his time with Spain, and most things that Spain takes part in, Romano is sure to follow and vice versa. He is lazy, and rude to men, and flirtatious to women. Romano has abandonment issues due his brother complex. His brother is better at most things they do, except the mafia, of which Romano is the head of. His favourite food is tomato, and often turns as red as them when he is embarrassed, thus inducing the nickname 'mi tomate' from Spain. He has a curl on the left side of his head that acts as his erogenous-zone. When pulled he goes very red and makes the vocal tick 'chigi' before shutting up and waiting to be released.

**Name;** Canada

**Age (appearance);** nineteen

**Hair; **blonde

**Eyes;** violet

**Height;** 177cm

**Human name; **Matthew Williams

Canada is quiet, sarcastic and consistently forgotten. He has a pet polar bear that can`t remember his name, and is either forgotten entirely or mistaken for his twin brother America. He adores pancakes drowning in maple syrup, even going as far as to go to Prussia`s house to give him a free bottle, stating 'Maple syrup id sure to bring happiness to everyone who eats it'. He soon later received the 'Awesome-me-awesome-award' from Prussia. It should be noted that Prussia is so far the only character to not forget Canada or mistake him for someone else. Canada is good friends with Cuba, both of them setting up a mini hospital during the Hetalia movie when the earth was invaded. However, dis hockey of any kind and he will whoop your arse into next week, having started many bar fights over the subject. Out of all the Hetalia characters he is thought to interact most with his people.

**Name; **Prussia

**Age (appearance); **twenty one

**Hair;** white

**Eyes;** red

**Height;** 177cm

**Human name;** Gilbert Beilschmidt

Being Germany`s older brother, Prussia is a laid back joker, built to fight and dissolved after the second world war. He is an albino nation and has a complicated relationship with Hungary and Austria. He is close with Italy, but best friends with France and Spain, making the BTT _Bad Touch Trio_. He raised Germany with the help of his old king Frederic, otherwise known as 'Old man Fritz'. He likes drinking beer, and is obsessed with being awesome, even going as far as saying the word at least once in almost every sentence spoken. Prussia also calls invading a country 'Invading your vital regions' in a joke for the dirty minded. After his dissolve, he still manages to somehow live on. It is speculated as to whether he East Germany, the town or New Prussia in Canada or living on just through shear willpower.

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4\. How does Hetalia reflect upon actual political, military and people`s history today in the modern world?

Hetalia is a complicated subject when it comes to this, as it is just meant to be a funny historical sketch show to help people understand world history. In no way was it created to draw attention to certain countries or failures of government. It is supposed to be taken as a light hearted joke to help in with history class. But, when you think about it, and how each country works in the real world, we could all learn something from Hetalia about how we can improve our relations with other countries to help the world grow stronger and advance tech, stop poverty and serve justice. Crap that was so cheesy! But, it is true.

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In conclusion, Hetalia is a funny show about personifications of countries. Each country gets made fun of and picked at, yet it is light hearted and somewhat true. Because of Hetalia many people around the world have advanced in their world history knowledge, as well as helping develop new ideas on how the world should be run by the fresh young minds of tomorrow, that will help make the world a better place for the days to come.

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**Hahaha! I was asked to write this by my mum + dad. they were sick of my prattling on about it and needed some sort of guide as to what i was monologuing about, so here it is!**


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